Letting Go – Part Two
Posted on: August 17, 20104 Comments |
In the first part of this series I wrote about having fun, and that if you are not having fun what’s the point of even picking up that camera that’s there beside you.
Today, boredom rears it’s ugly head.
Lately I’m going through the motions. I’ll pick up the camera, go stand in front of a wall, and bang out a photo. It’s too hot here in Mississippi to go outside, so I’m confined to this small space trying to eke out another turd to upload to Flickr.
And let me interject, if you’re wanting to read a happy article that’s going to make you feel the creative juices this ain’t it. This is the mopey, end of the road shit here.
I’m bored. Really fucking bored. I log in to Flickr and I see people posting less, commenting less. The stuff that does get posted? I’ve seen most of it before. I fave less stuff. It’s not just me. It’s others feeling that way. The scene is dead. Take this blog even. It’s been neglected these past few months. None of us really care to write anything lately. Maybe we’re all sitting around waiting for something to happen. Some great motivation to land at our feet.
And it’s not happening.
So what do you do at this point? Say fuck it and walk away in frustration? I’ve seen a lot of people do that. Not just crappy photographers, but great ones. They reach a point where it all becomes too much. Too much fluff. Too much crap floating on the surface.
But before I break out the “End of the World is Near” sign and start marching around in a white robe, I know that all creative people reach a point like this. A doldrum.
You either break out of it or you throw the cards on the table and get up and walk away.
And we all know if we wait long enough, that inspiration, that kick ass feeling of taking photos. It comes back.
All I know is it’s time that feeling to be resurrected.
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August 17th, 2010 at 12:12 pm
brad, i don;t know you other than flickr. and i follow along, your ups and downs, and i wish you could find the place where you are comfortable without feeling somehow beholden to a scene…
you are a very talented photographer. but i think you are insecure in some weird way. you are obviously well schooled in photographic thought and theory and can list off any number of ideologies of different photographers…but i think you are frustrated in not finding “you” in your work yet ( and that is not a static identity once figured out, btw, but a starting point ).
i hope you do. and it may not be to everyone’s taste, and you may not get fan like comments, but it will feel good. or maybe you will…because usually that level of realness, where you find your niche brings with it a certain level of recognition by others because they will feel it as well.
for me? it took getting my photographs off the computer and onto walls in the real world to find my happy place. i love to interact with other artists, photographers, painters, sculptors, what have you, and getting into gallery shows was the trick for me. i hope you find your path.
August 17th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Yes, I believe every creative person has hit this wall, possibly a thousand times. I think its part of the process. You cannot force beauty. She takes her time. And when the well runs dry, you have to let it refill, let it rest.
I know I’ve been shooting less & posting less but I’ve also been working more and enjoying this short window of summer in Seattle. Seems like this happens every summer, people are not focused on their monitors, and good lord, thats a good thing.
August 17th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
I’m not sure why you battle so much with this lately…I wish I knew, that way I could offer some sound advice.
Sometimes I think, most of it boils down to flickr. The feedback you were getting, views, Explore, etc. all that fed your desire to shoot more, to have a forum to show your work. Flickr, evolved, the people did too, left..etc. Not so many visits all of a sudden. So your desire slows down too. It makes you question is you truly love photography or you love the validation you get (and I don’t mean this to YOU >>Brad. I mean it of all of us there.) When all that wears out and you come to terms with it, you find why it is that you want to shoot, and you will not care if anyone sees your shots.
You need to find (like Angela mentioned above) your voice. What is that fire in your belly that makes you passionate about photography.
I had taken a break, then I would come back.. sporadically, I lost contacts, I lost views, I haven’t hit Explore since February I think, and I couldn’t give a rats ass.
why? because as cliché as it sounds, I do it for me and how it makes ME feel to see a finished photo. How it makes me feel, to find a subject and shoot it, play with different exposures/ learn. Process it until I say : ok. it’s done. As you have noticed, I am on an abstract trip right now, and I drool at what I find, and what I’m producing. I know that 90% of people out there, don’t like it, don’t get it, don’t even want to look at it, and truly, I do not care. It makes ME happy.
good luck with finding what it is you are looking for. Keep searching. you will.
August 24th, 2010 at 9:56 pm
Ha. I read this post, I see the replies, and I think, it happens to writers all the time, too. How do they get over it? By doing it every day anyway, because routine and habit are powerful things. Without them, the inspiration can’t take us as high, because we don’t have in the practice. Nor do we have the material that we’ve created day after day, which, when we are inspired, can suddenly become a jumping off point. Or a pattern that we didn’t notice, which leads to some major breakthrough.
The doldrums? You hit that nail on the head, I feel certain. But what you have to remember is that the (very real, in the nautical sense) doldrums always pass when the weather patterns shift. And that will be happening within the next few weeks. Thank GOD, because I feel like I’ve been paddling this boat, barely moving forward for the past little bit, and I’m ready to embrace some change myself.